No one wants to possess possessive partners who always limit
all our movements every day. Everywhere and whatever you do with anyone other
than them self must always report with their permission first. Your
interactions with the people around you are also deliberately blocked by the
reasons of protection.
Indeed, a sense of belonging must be in a relationship.
However, being involved in a possessive relationship over time can create a stress
too. So, how do you deal with possessive partner?
The stamp of courtship does not mean that your couple claims the rights ownership of you so that they feels entitled to intervene in all aspects of your life to the most trivial things.
Steps to face possessive partner
These five right moves below can help you deal with the possessive
partner without drama.
1. Say honestly that you object to their attitude
If the nature of your couple’s control has begun to make you
uncomfortable, you should immediately ask to talk privately. Talk casually but
firmly without having to pull the veins so that your intentions are conveyed
Instead of saying, “You never let me go out with
friends!” You can replace it with, “I feel uncomfortable if you keep
on controlling my life.”
Affirm it that not all the things you do have to report, and
you also do not have to always ask for his/her consent when to do something or meet with your
friends. Remind the couple that even though you both have an exclusive relationship,
each of you still has interests, freedoms and personal life that cannot be
arbitrarily arranged unilaterally. You have your own life and routine, and so
do with your couple.
Also explain to your couple that possessive behavior over
time can interfere with their life. Always focus on the point of the problem
2. Don’t be angry
To try the things above, you definitely need to be patience
and have very large of understanding. Then you are expected to be able to
control your emotions as best you can to deal with the possessive partner behavior.
If both are equally emotional, there is a relationship that
does not run smoothly. If the partner’s possessive behavior starts to
“relapse”, be patient by taking deep breaths 3 to 5 times. If you are
already getting angry, ask for time to be alone to cool your head. The more you
overreact, the more your partner will have the upper hand to control you.
3. Find out what caused it
After you devote what has stuck in your heart, now is the
time for you to ask your partner what makes him (she) possessive. If the possessive
partner behavior is because they feel insecure and is afraid of losing you or
just because of a blind jealousy.
Say it firmly but without emotion that you also care and
love your partner, but don’t want to be restrained and controlled. That way,
your partner can no longer look for opportunities to defend themselves or blame
4. Give more understanding
After you and your partner both straighten out the problem,
try to show more attention to your partner. You can hug your partner to ease
the anxiety feeling of losing you. Also avoid the things that will make your
partner’s suspicion and possessiveness appear.
5. Make the boundaries of the relationship so as not to be more possessive
To deal with the behavior of possessive partner, you can set
the limits on dating time.
Reporting from PsychCentral, psychologist Leslie
Becker-Phelps, PhD said that you need to determine the limits where you and
your partner to behave, speak and prohibit things that are felt to have
exceeded the limit and will have a negative impact on the relationship
Basically this is not a bad thing. Limits are useful for
creating rules that can make you comfortable with each other and prevent future