5 Surefire Steps to Facing Possessiveness in Relationship

No one wants to possess possessive partners who always limit all our movements every day. Everywhere and whatever you do with anyone other than them self must always report with their permission first. Your interactions with the people around you are also deliberately blocked by the reasons of protection.

Indeed, a sense of belonging must be in a relationship. However, being involved in a possessive relationship over time can create a stress too. So, how do you deal with possessive partner?

The stamp of courtship does not mean that your couple claims the rights ownership of you so that they feels entitled to intervene in all aspects of your life to the most trivial things.

Steps to face possessive partner

These five right moves below can help you deal with the possessive partner without drama.

1. Say honestly that you object to their attitude

If the nature of your couple’s control has begun to make you uncomfortable, you should immediately ask to talk privately. Talk casually but firmly without having to pull the veins so that your intentions are conveyed clearly.

Instead of saying, “You never let me go out with friends!” You can replace it with, “I feel uncomfortable if you keep on controlling my life.”

Affirm it that not all the things you do have to report, and you also do not have to always ask for his/her consent  when to do something or meet with your friends. Remind the couple that even though you both have an exclusive relationship, each of you still has interests, freedoms and personal life that cannot be arbitrarily arranged unilaterally. You have your own life and routine, and so do with your couple.

Also explain to your couple that possessive behavior over time can interfere with their life. Always focus on the point of the problem without rambling.

2. Don’t be angry

To try the things above, you definitely need to be patience and have very large of understanding. Then you are expected to be able to control your emotions as best you can to deal with the possessive partner behavior.

If both are equally emotional, there is a relationship that does not run smoothly. If the partner’s possessive behavior starts to “relapse”, be patient by taking deep breaths 3 to 5 times. If you are already getting angry, ask for time to be alone to cool your head. The more you overreact, the more your partner will have the upper hand to control you.

3. Find out what caused it

After you devote what has stuck in your heart, now is the time for you to ask your partner what makes him (she) possessive. If the possessive partner behavior is because they feel insecure and is afraid of losing you or just because of a blind jealousy.

Say it firmly but without emotion that you also care and love your partner, but don’t want to be restrained and controlled. That way, your partner can no longer look for opportunities to defend themselves or blame you.

4. Give more understanding

After you and your partner both straighten out the problem, try to show more attention to your partner. You can hug your partner to ease the anxiety feeling of losing you. Also avoid the things that will make your partner’s suspicion and possessiveness appear.

5. Make the boundaries of the relationship so as not to be more possessive

To deal with the behavior of possessive partner, you can set the limits on dating time.

Reporting from PsychCentral, psychologist Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD said that you need to determine the limits where you and your partner to behave, speak and prohibit things that are felt to have exceeded the limit and will have a negative impact on the relationship together.

Basically this is not a bad thing. Limits are useful for creating rules that can make you comfortable with each other and prevent future fights.