Some have dated for a long time, but with no plans to get married.
On the other hand, there are also couples who have just met and established love, but have been determined to get married.
Dating is usually the initial process of getting to know your partner more deeply.
Over time, you will begin to recognize each other’s characters even further.
In this process, usually someone starts to be able to
determine whether their partner is the right person to be made as a mate in the
future or just the opposite.
When should to propose your couple to get married?
According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., an assistant lecturer in
psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, usually couples who
fall in love will begin to think about the seriousness of the relationship in
the span of eight months to two years.
However, it does not rule out the possibility that the
belief in marriage appears faster than the time span mentioned by Campbell.
Therefore, the length of courtship time is actually not very
influential. In fact, the most important consideration before inviting a
married is how much you know your partner.
good and bad nature of your partner
Karl Pillemer, Ph.D., a self-development lecturer at Cornell
University, stated one principle that you must understand. Pillemer said that
never expect your partner to change after marriage.
If you already know the bad nature, then can you accept and
compensate? For that, you should not first propose a married if you do not
really know and accept all the characters that are on your couple.
The next question, do you and your partner have the same vision and values in
Having views and values that are in line is an effort to
minimize the risk of conflict after settling down. Make the courtship period as
a process of getting to know each other more deeply.
These are important points that you need to know and consider
before getting married.
If you have understood these points and are in line, the
sign is that you can begin to propose your partner to step into a more serious
Signs you are not ready to get married
Before deciding to get married, try self-evaluation first.
Here are some common signs that show that you and your
partner are not ready to settle down.
Still like to keep secrets from each other
According to Elisabeth LaMotte, a psychotherapist in the
United States, keeping secrets from partners is one of the main characteristics
that you are not ready to marry.
If you still often hide a variety of important information
about yourself, such as financial matters, you should postpone the desire to
When you want to get married, change yourself to communicate
honestly and openly to each other. Remember, one of the foundations of marriage
Keep repeating the same mistake
Having the same problem that recurs is one of the things that need to be seriously to considered before getting married.
The reason is, when you get married you will be faced with
various conflicts that need to be faced and find a way out.
If the both of you still selfish and want to always feel
heard and understood, the sign is indeed not ready to undergo marriage
commitments. We recommend that you first evaluate yourself and the relationship.
Marry to please others
If you are thinking of getting married just because you want
to please your parents or keep asking when you are married, the sign is that
you are not ready to live it. Marry because you really want to, not because of
someone else’s wishes.
Avoid the thought that marriage is the solution to the
problem you are facing right now. Therefore, do not first propose a married if
the reason is just because you want to please others.