Infidelity is not as simple as we thought. In addition to
the different types (there is a physical affair and emotional infidelity); some
suspicious signs from the lover also do not always seem obvious.
Some psychologists and behavioral experts explain the
existence of hidden signs that can be suspected of the behavior of lovers.
If you also find the sign in your partner, you should ask it
instead of being haunted by the suspicion that can eventually destroy the
1. Lying after another lie
Is your partner’s friend surprised when you know that you
are married? Did your lover ever say to go with friends when you knew he/she
was actually lying?
The author of the book “Tell Me What You
Want” Justin Lehmiller, PhD says that the trick that is repeated is a sign
of the possibility of your partner having an affair.
“Infidelity usually involves a lot of lies and
tricks,” he said.
2. Skip dating time or not interested in sex
No longer interested in intimacy with a lover is another
Psychology professor Nicolle Zapien, PhD said, it would
raise questions why they did it.
If she/he is having an affair, then it could be a sign that
his/her emotional or sexual needs have been met at another place. That is, she/he
no longer needs it from you.
3. More fashionable appearance
The head of the counseling, adult and higher education
department at Northern Illinois University, Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D.
explain, someone will look neat and want to change their appearance when they
will meet someone whose praise is expected.
Usually, being with the same person for years will make a
person less likely to notice their appearance.
If what happens is the opposite, then you should be
suspicious. It could be that your lover wants to impress others.
4. Obsession with cell phone
At the beginning of courtship or exploration, surely we will
intensely exchange messages so that we cannot be far from the cell phone.
However, when you and your partner have had a long enough relationship
and she/he is still obsessed with their cell phone, you need to be suspicious.
“Sending messages is a preference for those who cheat
to communicate,” Degges-White said.
This behavior can be something that is invisible but
threatens your relationship with your lover, when someone can build a private
chat with your lover.
5. Quickly close the laptop
Unless there are things that are surprising, closing a
laptop screen quickly is not unusual. That can mean that something is covered
by your lover.
He could have covered a video game that you didn’t
like or could have a message from a special person.
6. Strange fees
When you realize there are strange fees or expenses from
your credit card, such as restaurant payments or strange purchases on
e-commerce sites that are not your item or partner, then you should ask. It’s
not always a sign of infidelity, but there’s nothing wrong if you ask.
7. Make strange reasons when asked about their whereabouts
When your lover is spending time with someone who is special
to her/him, maybe she/he says that they are going out with coworkers for
meetings, birthday parties or other reasons.
Zapien said, “If the reasons made tend to be strange
then it’s not wrong if you speculate”.
8. Difficult to contact
This tends to occur in couples who have been together for
years. But, when your lover is spending time with someone and is difficult to
contact, then you should question it.
9. Call someone’s name continuously
If a new name often appears on your lover’s social media
story or is often told, then there is a possibility that the person is much
with your lover in work life and personal life.
“No matter what kind of person it is, when someone is
crazy, they look tortured if they don’t talk about the object of their
admiration,” he said.
10. Flood you with gifts and praise
This might really be given from the heart, but it is a
little strange if it happens.
“Guilt can be a strong motivator and if the affair is
too strong to fight, they might think that their guilt will be cured by giving
their partner a lot of prizes,” Degges-White said.
“So the mindset is: I have a hard time stopping
cheating, but I can treat my partner better.”
11. You know it
Have you ever felt a feeling that was blocking your heart?
This strong feeling could be the next sign. Experts say intuition can also be a
powerful decision-making tool.
“We often ignore intuition and wait for our partners to
justify it later,” Zapien said.
12. Finding factual evidence
Zapien said, when someone finds factual evidence of our
partner’s affair with other people, they often refute it.
Unfortunately, many people just ignore these factual signs.
How to deal with it? Degges-White recommends that we be
frank with lovers to ask.
“You might just say something like:” I know you’re
not honest and I want you to know that it’s not good for me “.
What to do?
Everyone has a different choice. So, when the signs related
to the affair appear in other people, it does not mean that our partner is also
having an affair despite showing the same sign.
It could be that your lover is suffering, sad or you are
suspicious of your relationship for other reasons.
If you feel there are things that are blocking,
it’s better to talk to your partner.